i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize