That's when you crack a 10am beer
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
