working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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