I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
