I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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