i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Randomize
