I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
only you would photoshop your dick
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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