We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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