its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
