i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Randomize