I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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