first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
