sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
