Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Randomize
