In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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