You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
