Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
