She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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