Do vagina's smell?
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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