Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Randomize
