At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
