i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I got inside last night via doggy door
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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