my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
