i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
