i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
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