I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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