Someone shit on the floor
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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