I hate all girls vehemently.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
No more Irish car bombs ever.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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