she looked like the bat from fern gully.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
