respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize