Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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