I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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