i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
