You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
