You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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