I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Randomize
