My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Randomize