I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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