Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
You are a genius and a whore.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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