just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Randomize
