thus making me awesome and them whores
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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