i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
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