is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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