Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
