I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
