I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Randomize
