I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
