yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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