did you get engaged???
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Randomize
