You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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