this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize
