i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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