That's intense
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
there was a trapeze. enough said
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Randomize
