Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
