Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Randomize
