I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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