Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
No stitches, just platelets and will power
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
