Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
