shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
it glows. i had to have it.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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