forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize