soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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