So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
My breasts were aching with rage.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Randomize
