Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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