Do you still have your period?
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
