I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
