Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
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