It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Randomize
