Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Randomize