My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
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