you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
