Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
