i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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