lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Sorry my hands just texted you
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
