Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
